Let me introduce myself...

DAVID MAKALASTER

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
My lips are moving faster than
My mind can comprehend

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Some call me Mr. Mcaly-Mouth
But think of me as friend

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And since I've cut my intake down
My liver's on the mend

'Cause I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new

Isn't it awfully nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly how it seems
We live in a world
Where all you have to do
Is sit around and dream
About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Lay back, relax
Apathy's back in style

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
And I firmly execute
Every word I say

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Only 6% of America
Thinks that I am gay

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And if you see the spider
Don't spill your cords and whey

'Cause I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new

Isn't it awfully nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly how it seems
We live in a world
That strokes you in the fire
To build up steam
We live in a world
Where all you have to do
Is sit around and dream
About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Lay back, relax
Apathy's back in style

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new

DAVID MAKALASTER II

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
And the shit has
Just hit the fan

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
There's a scrouge
Trampin' cross our land

The film I'm about to show you
Will fill and overflow you
With a rage that's
Beyond command

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and
Here's what's new

Wouldn't it be so nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly
How it seems

But we live in a world
Where bastards come along
And piss on your dreams

About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Get off your ass
Vengeance is back in style

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
And perhaps you didn't
Hear me right

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Every man Jack of you
Should volunteer to fight

If I were only ten years younger
I'd slake this vengeful hunges
And rest assured we'd all
Sleep safe tonight

This is David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and God bless you

Wouldn't it be so nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly
How it seems

But we live in a world
Where bastards come along
And piss on your dreams

About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Get off your ass
Vengeance is back in style